Monday, 26 November 2012

Special Guest Post.

Hello Peeps.

I have a special guest today.  Mr Rory Finnemore.  Please make him feel welcome.

Rory’s take on the 2012 NZ MASTERS.

(Disclaimer – all statements herewith are not necessarily a true reflection of what the author feels about the participants, for instance Antony isn’t a nice guy, he’s actually a real prick*)
Well, upon writing this I am only a few short days away from my inaugural Warhammer Masters event. Initially, I just missed out on making the top 12 in the country (not due to my lack of genius and Warhammer acumen), but most probably I chopped and changed lists too much over the year to get that innate feeling for a list – so for this Masters event I thought I’d do the same.
But before I delve into my own list I thought I’d take the time to wander over some of the other participant’s offerings to the Warhammer gods. I shall start in order of worst to best (in my humblest of opinions), please note that I have not included my own list; I will leave it as an object for your disdain in other blogs.
So thank you Sam for letting me ramble – and to the others, sit back and enjoy (or fume at) the critiques....

This guy is apparently pretty good....however his list isn’t. I think he may have confused Masters with FluffyCon – sorry pal you’re 10 months too late for this year’s Fluffiest of Fluffies! Unless his tactic is lulling his opposition into a false sense of security and unexpectedly smashing them around the back of the head with a large, wet fish, I shan’t think we’ll see this list in the top 10 ;-p

Putting aside the fact that the last time we played his bony dead men royally fucked my Empire up the arse, in this Masters, I think his list will struggle against the other armies. In terms of picking his army I think Tim has misjudged the nature of the other lists he expected to encounter there. He can’t put as much pressure on his opponent during the magic phase with the single casket, too many armies have units that can deal with the Tomb Guard and the single necrosphinx just doesn’t have the impetus to capture the points for the big wins. See this list getting run over (excluding T3 elves) by everyone.
In fact, I am so certain that this list is shit house cellar-dweller that if Tim makes the top 3 at Masters I WILL BUY HIM DINNER AND A PINT OF GOOD SOUTHERN ALE the next time he is in Auckland for a tournament!

Famous New Zealand historian returned to life to dominate the Warhammer world? No sadly not. This New Zealander at war forgot to take some terradons or mounted scar vets – and his Engine of the Gods, is like so last edition Warhammer.
PS: I am really sorry if you are related in any way to the author Michael King and are offended by this....he rocks – Maramarua represent!

Unlike what his name suggests, he is actually a really top bloke and he has the ignominy of 8th place. In part, due to the fact that he is taking Beastmen. Doombull on a flying carpet? Say what?! Ovid will be turning in his grave when this Alladin-isation bastardises his epic character on the tourney battlefield. Top marks for creativity, but because he’s taking beastmen, he’ll have more chance of catching a shit with wet tissue paper than winning this tournament!

An interesting list, however a little bit one-trick-pony if you ask me. Since no one has actually asked and that I’m just writing at you, expect this list to dominate some armies (Empire, Elves, etc) and not so much against others (Timmy will breathe a little easier if he gets matched up against this one). Incredibly dependent on the Helcannons doing the bizzo.
Nice work though mate – impressed that you have the balls to take a list like this. That’s right....I like your balls.

When the two Skaven players at this tournament were scrying the internet for “Internet-Skaven-Lists” this particular player cut and paste the wrong one and didn’t realise until after he submitted his list to James. Oh well, never mind...this guy is actually a pretty good player, so he may finish higher than what his list suggests. Pretty easy to kill the furnace though bud, expect everyone to gun for it....

His last name suggests that he has two dads. However this confused chap has managed to put together a tidy list. As I am a formerly astute general of the Empire (or F.A.G.E for short) I think the area where Joel may be lacking is: 1x missing helblaster...if you have a couple of small magic phases at the start of the game then you’ll be hard pressed to take down any threatening buses with searing doom, which no amount of KFC loving will be able to rescue you from buddy....enjoy walking over KB hordes with the chickens, I’m sure there’ll be a couple of long faces staring across the table at you...

Well last years Master is taking his tried and true. Some players would describe Antony as a bit of a Master-trebuchet-tor, but really he’s a nice guy and not a prick* at all. Even though he has a penchant for wearing t-shirts two sizes smaller than he should.
In all seriousness this guy is a great player. Brets kinda suck but imagine Antony as the Rocky Balboa of the warhammer world – get into a street scrap with this guy and he’s going to beat you up! Just as well the streets at this tournament are lined with two trebs! FYI it’s “Gleaming Pennant” not “Gleaming Pendant” probably the third time you have misnamed this item. How does a pennant gleam anyway....? Look forward to his crappy yellow dice that always roll 5’s and 6’s (I’m sure they’re weighted).

When in Auckland this guy sleeps at my house in Harry Potter’s bedroom. He loves this room so much he asks for it on request even though there’s alternate sleeping quarters....makes me wonder sometimes...
I really rate his list for Masters it does a bit of everything well – choppy bus, strong magic, lots of war machines, grindy-stompy block of trolls. Set to top the tourney...maybe? He’ll have to have a little bit of luck on his side if he’s to get past the next two lists. Sam always punches above his weight with lower tier armies – truly a good player and a worthy Master.

When most dads have a kid they’re like “my sons going to be an All Black”....however when your dad is the Jonah Lomu of the NZ wargaming scene there’s fat chance of that happening!
I’ve never had the pleasure of playing the Dunns, but with 6 games and two Dunn’s the odds are in my favour! Tom’s list is as hard as they come, however I’ve worked out its weakness (it does have them) so don’t sweat too much folks, just stick to your game plan and you’ll go alright. I’m surprised by the inclusion of only two Bloodletter blocks and this is where I think its weakness is....but I’ll leave it for other folks to work out!

This is the list to do the job, and much has been already written about it.... However, like our own All Blacks Pete cracks under pressure. Four more years? Quite possibly. Or will he break his hoodoo like the AB’s did last year? I hear from reliable sources that Peter starts to sweat when the opponent isn’t fazed by the rep and sticks to the game plan. Pete knows this game so, so well, and he’ll grind, outmanoeuvre and game other players better than they can him (imagine Jonah and his giant Tongan thighs bearing down on Mike Catt). However, I remember an NPC game from the mid 90’s where Jonah Lomu was cut down by the diminutive Stu Forster (1.70cm tall!) showing that everyone has their day and that giants will fall...

Will Masters 2012 be yours at the end of battles?
Roll on December 1st and 2nd!
Please remember if I haven’t offended pretty much everyone with this post then I haven’t done my job!
See ya’ll soon,
Rory Finnemore


  1. First off, I strongly urge everyone going into Masters to not underestimate Neil or Peter Williamson. They made it into Masters, because they deserve to be there, and they know their stuff. I have seen and have been beaten by lists used by Peter Williamson that almost everyone disregarded based purely on math-hammer. You have been warned.

    Secondly, I tried to read this guest post, but the language being used is in very, very bad taste for something that is open to the public. I would seriously recommend an edit, to clean the language up a bit. I don't want to sound stuck up, but if you feel so strongly about your opinions then surely you could make the extra effort to use acceptable language on this blog. I will happily admit my language can be pretty foul at times as well, but I always do my best to limit foul language to personal conversations with other gamers.


    Adam Richards

  2. Excellent write up Rory....enjoyed it.

    Personally I have entered a Zen-like state and realise this weekend after exiting the temple that I am going to crush all before me like me and my army of master-mammals deserve.

    Either that or I will choke like I did last year!

    After coming off an unbeaten run of about a billion games, I've managed to lose my last three. Two of them vs. Masters participants and one versus Vampire counts.

    A sign? I expect not.

    Forget Andrew Hore....I'm going to get all Richard Loe with this field.

  3. @ Pete - going for the eye gouge....always a good tactic! Glad you enjoyed the write up.

    @ Adam - sorry bud, however I respect your right to be offended, just as I hope you respect my right to write whatever I want. I hope you don't go to any R rated movies? My advice, don't like it don't read it!

    1. You are free to write what you want, I am just putting my hand up to say "Steady on there mate", so thanks for not taking my reply as anything more than that.


      - Adam Richards

  4. I really enjoyed the writing style actually.

    Also you know you have Pete worried when he starts constantly asking you obtuse questions he knows the answer to already during your turn.
    Don't buy into the timid old man act, he's just trying to keep you reacting to him - controlling the pace on and off the table!

    1. Thanks, can almost visualise Pete's nose twitching and snuffling - like a rat trapped in the corner of the room with no where to go.... will it be teeth bared for a fight or will the Great Rat burrow away from the pressure?

    2. Actually normally I'd throw some minion under the train.

    3. Adam, This isn't some nancy boy Rugby test build up where no one wants to offend the other guy in case he cries... This is a real mans game!

      I look forward to Charlie offending the entire of the Auckland wargaming community like last year.

    4. Speaking of 40k. Where is all the banter for there competition? I can imagine some pretty tight competition for 2nd place...

  5. Thanks for the ratings boost Rory. All the big guns are out commenting today!!

  6. Rory's post was interesting.

    I had a good chuckle when you called Peter W out on his list. But I think he'll do fine.

    Good write up ;D.

  7. One Trick Pony?
    I've got 29 ponies all very well trained with several tricks each. One can stand on its hind legs balancing a ball on its nose whilst stamping on rats.
    Your lot will all dislocate their joints if they tried it.

  8. "I've got 29 ponies but a tournament winner ain't one"

    1. Charlie, go and annoy your opponents.....typically I finf comments around baby seals and calling Greenpeace does the trick.

      If that fails then ask how many were home schooled.

    2. No need.
      The running of the 40k side so far has them annoyed enough lol

    3. Hope so. Otherwise I'm not doing my job.

  9. I bet the Williamson's will rap it up ;D.

    I keep saying "They breed them better in the Wairarapa"

    1. Yes, Simon but you think Dwarfs are interesting so to be honest

      "Simon, it doesn't matter what you think"

    2. A Dwarf's opinion is as good as a rats.

    3. Simon, seriously.....that's crazy talk

    4. Yeah it is, everyone knows a Dwarf is worth a twenty rats with a bundle of mice thrown in for good measure.

  10. Man you yokels really stick together... Yeah I heard there is real "family love" over them thar hills.

    1. Nah,
      Our sheep are far too good looking for family love.
      Why else do you think a brothel would close down in Carterton for lack of custom.

    2. My business partner is from the Manawatu, he's rooting for them now and in on this story! Them Hills do have eyes....

    3. Wairarapa, Manawatu....

      We just call it "Different"

    4. Close geography gets a little shaky south of the Bombays....

  11. @ Rory
    I am deeply offended by what you have written. My T shirts are not two sizes two small, my guts are two sizes too big! I demand an immediate correction.


    1. I'm sure you were wearing one of Will's tshirts on Sunday!