Rory’s take on the 2012 NZ MASTERS.
(Disclaimer – all statements herewith are not necessarily a true reflection of what the author feels about the participants, for instance Antony isn’t a nice guy, he’s actually a real prick*)
Well, upon writing this I am only a few short days away from my inaugural Warhammer Masters event. Initially, I just missed out on making the top 12 in the country (not due to my lack of genius and Warhammer acumen), but most probably I chopped and changed lists too much over the year to get that innate feeling for a list – so for this Masters event I thought I’d do the same.
But before I delve into my own list I thought I’d take the time to wander over some of the other participant’s offerings to the Warhammer gods. I shall start in order of worst to best (in my humblest of opinions), please note that I have not included my own list; I will leave it as an object for your disdain in other blogs.
So thank you Sam for letting me ramble – and to the others, sit back and enjoy (or fume at) the critiques....
11 PETER WILLIAMSON:
This guy is apparently pretty good....however his list isn’t. I think he may have confused Masters with FluffyCon – sorry pal you’re 10 months too late for this year’s Fluffiest of Fluffies! Unless his tactic is lulling his opposition into a false sense of security and unexpectedly smashing them around the back of the head with a large, wet fish, I shan’t think we’ll see this list in the top 10 ;-p
10 TIMOTHY JOSS:
Putting aside the fact that the last time we played his bony dead men royally fucked my Empire up the arse, in this Masters, I think his list will struggle against the other armies. In terms of picking his army I think Tim has misjudged the nature of the other lists he expected to encounter there. He can’t put as much pressure on his opponent during the magic phase with the single casket, too many armies have units that can deal with the Tomb Guard and the single necrosphinx just doesn’t have the impetus to capture the points for the big wins. See this list getting run over (excluding T3 elves) by everyone.
In fact, I am so certain that this list is shit house cellar-dweller that if Tim makes the top 3 at Masters I WILL BUY HIM DINNER AND A PINT OF GOOD SOUTHERN ALE the next time he is in Auckland for a tournament!
09 MIKE KING:
Famous New Zealand historian returned to life to dominate the Warhammer world? No sadly not. This New Zealander at war forgot to take some terradons or mounted scar vets – and his Engine of the Gods, is like so last edition Warhammer.
PS: I am really sorry if you are related in any way to the author Michael King and are offended by this....he rocks – Maramarua represent!
08 RAYMOND DICK:
Unlike what his name suggests, he is actually a really top bloke and he has the ignominy of 8th place. In part, due to the fact that he is taking Beastmen. Doombull on a flying carpet? Say what?! Ovid will be turning in his grave when this Alladin-isation bastardises his epic character on the tourney battlefield. Top marks for creativity, but because he’s taking beastmen, he’ll have more chance of catching a shit with wet tissue paper than winning this tournament!
07 NEIL WILLIAMSON
An interesting list, however a little bit one-trick-pony if you ask me. Since no one has actually asked and that I’m just writing at you, expect this list to dominate some armies (Empire, Elves, etc) and not so much against others (Timmy will breathe a little easier if he gets matched up against this one). Incredibly dependent on the Helcannons doing the bizzo.
Nice work though mate – impressed that you have the balls to take a list like this. That’s right....I like your balls.
06 LOCHLAN REID
When the two Skaven players at this tournament were scrying the internet for “Internet-Skaven-Lists” this particular player cut and paste the wrong one and didn’t realise until after he submitted his list to James. Oh well, never mind...this guy is actually a pretty good player, so he may finish higher than what his list suggests. Pretty easy to kill the furnace though bud, expect everyone to gun for it....
05 JOEL VAN DE VEN-LONG
His last name suggests that he has two dads. However this confused chap has managed to put together a tidy list. As I am a formerly astute general of the Empire (or F.A.G.E for short) I think the area where Joel may be lacking is: 1x missing helblaster...if you have a couple of small magic phases at the start of the game then you’ll be hard pressed to take down any threatening buses with searing doom, which no amount of KFC loving will be able to rescue you from buddy....enjoy walking over KB hordes with the chickens, I’m sure there’ll be a couple of long faces staring across the table at you...
04 ANTONY KITSON
Well last years Master is taking his tried and true. Some players would describe Antony as a bit of a Master-trebuchet-tor, but really he’s a nice guy and not a prick* at all. Even though he has a penchant for wearing t-shirts two sizes smaller than he should.
In all seriousness this guy is a great player. Brets kinda suck but imagine Antony as the Rocky Balboa of the warhammer world – get into a street scrap with this guy and he’s going to beat you up! Just as well the streets at this tournament are lined with two trebs! FYI it’s “Gleaming Pennant” not “Gleaming Pendant” probably the third time you have misnamed this item. How does a pennant gleam anyway....? Look forward to his crappy yellow dice that always roll 5’s and 6’s (I’m sure they’re weighted).
03 SAM WHITT
When in Auckland this guy sleeps at my house in Harry Potter’s bedroom. He loves this room so much he asks for it on request even though there’s alternate sleeping quarters....makes me wonder sometimes...
I really rate his list for Masters it does a bit of everything well – choppy bus, strong magic, lots of war machines, grindy-stompy block of trolls. Set to top the tourney...maybe? He’ll have to have a little bit of luck on his side if he’s to get past the next two lists. Sam always punches above his weight with lower tier armies – truly a good player and a worthy Master.
02 TOM DUNN
When most dads have a kid they’re like “my sons going to be an All Black”....however when your dad is the Jonah Lomu of the NZ wargaming scene there’s fat chance of that happening!
I’ve never had the pleasure of playing the Dunns, but with 6 games and two Dunn’s the odds are in my favour! Tom’s list is as hard as they come, however I’ve worked out its weakness (it does have them) so don’t sweat too much folks, just stick to your game plan and you’ll go alright. I’m surprised by the inclusion of only two Bloodletter blocks and this is where I think its weakness is....but I’ll leave it for other folks to work out!
01 PETER DUNN
This is the list to do the job, and much has been already written about it.... However, like our own All Blacks Pete cracks under pressure. Four more years? Quite possibly. Or will he break his hoodoo like the AB’s did last year? I hear from reliable sources that Peter starts to sweat when the opponent isn’t fazed by the rep and sticks to the game plan. Pete knows this game so, so well, and he’ll grind, outmanoeuvre and game other players better than they can him (imagine Jonah and his giant Tongan thighs bearing down on Mike Catt). However, I remember an NPC game from the mid 90’s where Jonah Lomu was cut down by the diminutive Stu Forster (1.70cm tall!) showing that everyone has their day and that giants will fall...
Will Masters 2012 be yours at the end of battles?
Roll on December 1st and 2nd!
Please remember if I haven’t offended pretty much everyone with this post then I haven’t done my job!
See ya’ll soon,