Rory’s take on the 2012 NZ MASTERS.
(Disclaimer – all statements herewith
are not necessarily a true reflection of what the author feels about
the participants, for instance Antony isn’t a nice guy, he’s
actually a real prick*)
Well, upon writing this I am only a few
short days away from my inaugural Warhammer Masters event.
Initially, I just missed out on making the top 12 in the country (not
due to my lack of genius and Warhammer acumen), but most probably I
chopped and changed lists too much over the year to get that innate
feeling for a list – so for this Masters event I thought I’d do
the same.
But before I delve into my own list I
thought I’d take the time to wander over some of the other
participant’s offerings to the Warhammer gods. I shall start in
order of worst to best (in my humblest of opinions), please note that
I have not included my own list; I will leave it as an object for
your disdain in other blogs.
So thank you Sam for letting me ramble
– and to the others, sit back and enjoy (or fume at) the
critiques....
11 PETER WILLIAMSON:
This guy is apparently pretty
good....however his list isn’t. I think he may have confused
Masters with FluffyCon – sorry pal you’re 10 months too late for
this year’s Fluffiest of Fluffies! Unless his tactic is lulling
his opposition into a false sense of security and unexpectedly
smashing them around the back of the head with a large, wet fish, I
shan’t think we’ll see this list in the top 10 ;-p
10 TIMOTHY JOSS:
Putting aside the fact that the last
time we played his bony dead men royally fucked my Empire up the
arse, in this Masters, I think his list will struggle against the
other armies. In terms of picking his army I think Tim has misjudged
the nature of the other lists he expected to encounter there. He
can’t put as much pressure on his opponent during the magic phase
with the single casket, too many armies have units that can deal with
the Tomb Guard and the single necrosphinx just doesn’t have the
impetus to capture the points for the big wins. See this list
getting run over (excluding T3 elves) by everyone.
In fact, I am so certain that this list
is shit house cellar-dweller that if Tim makes the top 3 at Masters I
WILL BUY HIM DINNER AND A PINT OF GOOD SOUTHERN ALE the next time he
is in Auckland for a tournament!
09 MIKE KING:
Famous New Zealand historian returned
to life to dominate the Warhammer world? No sadly not. This New
Zealander at war forgot to take some terradons or mounted scar
vets – and his Engine of the Gods, is like so last edition
Warhammer.
PS: I am really sorry if you are
related in any way to the author Michael King and are offended by
this....he rocks – Maramarua represent!
08 RAYMOND DICK:
Unlike what his name suggests, he is
actually a really top bloke and he has the ignominy of 8th
place. In part, due to the fact that he is taking Beastmen. Doombull
on a flying carpet? Say what?! Ovid will be turning in his grave
when this Alladin-isation bastardises his epic character on the
tourney battlefield. Top marks for creativity, but because he’s
taking beastmen, he’ll have more chance of catching a shit with wet
tissue paper than winning this tournament!
07 NEIL WILLIAMSON
An interesting list, however a little
bit one-trick-pony if you ask me. Since no one has actually asked
and that I’m just writing at you, expect this list to dominate some
armies (Empire, Elves, etc) and not so much against others (Timmy
will breathe a little easier if he gets matched up against this one).
Incredibly dependent on the Helcannons doing the bizzo.
Nice work though mate – impressed
that you have the balls to take a list like this. That’s
right....I like your balls.
06 LOCHLAN REID
When the two Skaven players at this
tournament were scrying the internet for “Internet-Skaven-Lists”
this particular player cut and paste the wrong one and didn’t
realise until after he submitted his list to James. Oh well, never
mind...this guy is actually a pretty good player, so he may finish
higher than what his list suggests. Pretty easy to kill the furnace
though bud, expect everyone to gun for it....
05 JOEL VAN DE VEN-LONG
His last name suggests that he has two
dads. However this confused chap has managed to put together a tidy
list. As I am a formerly astute general of the Empire (or F.A.G.E
for short) I think the area where Joel may be lacking is: 1x missing
helblaster...if you have a couple of small magic phases at the start
of the game then you’ll be hard pressed to take down any
threatening buses with searing doom, which no amount of KFC loving
will be able to rescue you from buddy....enjoy walking over KB hordes
with the chickens, I’m sure there’ll be a couple of long faces
staring across the table at you...
04 ANTONY KITSON
Well last years Master is taking his
tried and true. Some players would describe Antony as a bit of a
Master-trebuchet-tor, but really he’s a nice guy and not a prick*
at all. Even though he has a penchant for wearing t-shirts two sizes
smaller than he should.
In all seriousness this guy is a great
player. Brets kinda suck but imagine Antony as the Rocky Balboa of
the warhammer world – get into a street scrap with this guy and
he’s going to beat you up! Just as well the streets at this
tournament are lined with two trebs! FYI it’s “Gleaming Pennant”
not “Gleaming Pendant” probably the third time you have misnamed
this item. How does a pennant gleam anyway....? Look forward to his
crappy yellow dice that always roll 5’s and 6’s (I’m sure
they’re weighted).
03 SAM WHITT
When in Auckland this guy sleeps at my
house in Harry Potter’s bedroom. He loves this room so much he
asks for it on request even though there’s alternate sleeping
quarters....makes me wonder sometimes...
I really rate his list for Masters it
does a bit of everything well – choppy bus, strong magic, lots of
war machines, grindy-stompy block of trolls. Set to top the
tourney...maybe? He’ll have to have a little bit of luck on his
side if he’s to get past the next two lists. Sam always punches
above his weight with lower tier armies – truly a good player and a
worthy Master.
02 TOM DUNN
When most dads have a kid they’re
like “my sons going to be an All Black”....however when your dad
is the Jonah Lomu of the NZ wargaming scene there’s fat chance of
that happening!
I’ve never had the pleasure of
playing the Dunns, but with 6 games and two Dunn’s the odds are in
my favour! Tom’s list is as hard as they come, however I’ve
worked out its weakness (it does have them) so don’t sweat too much
folks, just stick to your game plan and you’ll go alright. I’m
surprised by the inclusion of only two Bloodletter blocks and this is
where I think its weakness is....but I’ll leave it for other folks
to work out!
01 PETER DUNN
This is the list to do the job, and
much has been already written about it.... However, like our own All
Blacks Pete cracks under pressure. Four more years? Quite possibly.
Or will he break his hoodoo like the AB’s did last year? I hear
from reliable sources that Peter starts to sweat when the opponent
isn’t fazed by the rep and sticks to the game plan. Pete knows
this game so, so well, and he’ll grind, outmanoeuvre and game other
players better than they can him (imagine Jonah and his giant Tongan
thighs bearing down on Mike Catt). However, I remember an NPC game
from the mid 90’s where Jonah Lomu was cut down by the diminutive
Stu Forster (1.70cm tall!) showing that everyone has their day and
that giants will fall...
Will Masters 2012 be yours at the end
of battles?
Roll on December 1st and
2nd!
Please remember if I haven’t offended
pretty much everyone with this post then I haven’t done my job!
See ya’ll soon,
Rory Finnemore
